This might be an odd thing to say as a birth doula, but maybe you don’t need a doula? I obviously love doula support and have watched it make an enormous impact for families in the birth room. I also don’t believe every pregnant woman needs to hire one.

You might have given birth before. Maybe you already feel really confident in your birth team and adding another person to your space simply doesn’t sound appealing. Or you could just not be in a financial place to hire one. You might just not understand what a doula even is or if you really need one.

I think it’s important to note that every pregnancy is going to be different. So first you should ask yourself, what do I actually need to prepare well for this birth?

Do you need knowledge? Hands-on practice? A refresher? More individualized problem-solving? Do you need someone in the room?

All of these areas can naturally lean into different levels of support.

If this is your first birth, start here…

If you’re preparing to give birth for the first time, I’m a HUGE believer in starting with childbirth education (I actually require my doula clients to minimally do our online education). This isn’t because I think childbirth education will somehow guarantee the birth you want, but because it’s really hard to know what kind of support you need when you don’t yet understand the thing you’re preparing for.

There is so much birth information available to us now. Podcasts, TikTok, Instagram, google every question that crosses your mind…but information is not the same as education. Good childbirth education gives you a foundation.

What is your body actually doing during labor? What does normal labor progression look like? What can you and your partner do when contractions actually get harder to manage? What options might you be presented with? How can movement support labor?

Most importantly learning these things gives you context to start asking better questions about your own birth.

You might walk away from childbirth education thinking, okay I understand this so much better. My partner and I have practiced, we feel confined in our birth team, and feel good about the support we already have. OR you might walk away thinking, Oh wow I definitely want more support around me once I’m in labor.

That’s a huge benefit to starting with education as your foundation, it helps you figure out what you don’t know, and what you actually need to feel supported.

Maybe you need more personal prep…but not a birth doula

You might already have the foundation of childbirth education, or maybe this isn’t your first birth. You don’t necessarily need more information about birth in general, but you have more question about your birth.

Maybe you look back at a previous labor and think through what you would do differently this time. Or you might be preparing for an induction, want to work on movement and positioning, need more tools for your partner, or have a handful of specific questions you’d love to sit down and work through with someone who understand birth…but you don’t want or need that person at your birth.

This is the exact gap Birth Coaching is meant to fill.

Birth Coaching is individualized birth preparation without on-call birth support. Rather than starting with a curriculum, we start with you…your history, this pregnancy, your goals, your concerns, and what would actually make you feel more equipped walking into this birth.

For second, third, fourth (etc.)-time moms especially, I think this can be such a sweet spot. You know what to expect from yourself in labor and birth, but you’d still appreciate a refresher, or more deep personalized conversation on a topic you want to dive deeper into. However, Birth Coaching isn’t just limited to experienced moms. This might be your first baby and you have an established foundation of birth, but you also realize there are a few things you want to dig into more personally.

We can use our time for really whatever you want, movement and positioning, coping tools, partner support, preparing for an induction, birth preferences and decision-making, or working through questions that are more specific to you.

But maybe you do need a doula…

After all of that, maybe you’ve come to realize. Actually, I really do want a birth doula there.

Childbirth education can give you a foundation. Birth Coaching can help you prepare personally. But a birth doula gets to take that preparation into the birth room with you.

There is something incredibly valuable about having someone at your birth who already knows you, knows what matters to you, understands birth, and isn’t meeting you for the first time in the middle of labor.

A doula isn’t there to replace your partner or make decisions for you. She’s another steady set of hands and eyes, someone who can suggest a position when labor changes, remind you of the tools you practiced when you’ve completely forgotten they exist, help you and your partner navigate decisions, and bring a calm, familiar presence when things don’t go according to plan.

And sometimes, knowing that person will be there changes the way you and your partner approach birth before it even begins. Your partner doesn’t have to carry the pressure of remembering everything. You don’t have to wonder whether you’ll be able to recall all the things you learned in childbirth class while you’re having a contraction. You have someone there who can help both of you stay grounded and work with what is happening in real time.

This kind of support isn’t for every family, but for some it is exactly what they need.

So, what do you actually need?

The goal is to figure out what will help you and your partner walk into birth informed, equipped, and supported, while still surrendering to the reality that birth is unpredictable.

There isn’t one size fits all when it comes to birth preparation and support. So if you’re wondering what kind of support you need, ask yourself what you feel confident in, where the gaps are, and what would make those gaps feel a little smaller.

…so maybe you need a birth doula,

or maybe you don’t.